Palm Springs, CA
June 3th - 6th
Kyle "Twinkle Toes" McClure | 2022 Champion Golfer
Eric "Grampa" Alden | 2022 Mr.Poopy
Kyle "Twinkle Toes" McClure | 2022 Champion Golfer
2022 Details

Because we have athletes ranging from low single-digit handicaps, all the way up to the low 20's, we follow the ever-so-simple USGA rules and handicap system. This allows us to equal the playing field and make it fair for everyone. Golfers 55+ (age) have the option to play the shorter tees (with their handicap being adjusted accordingly). Every athlete MUST have a handicap... or we will assign one to you. After 4 rounds, the lowest accumulative net low player will be crowned the champion. Players should start to familiarize themselves with the Golf Gamebook App. Gamebook is great because it allows us to keep a real-time leaderboard of how all the athletes are performing during their rounds. Start by creating a profile and updating your hcp index in the app. One player from each group will be in charge of logging the scores into GameBook.

Money Breakdown

The buy-in for each competitor is $150. Each individual round we will do payouts to the 1st place net low winner,  4 Closest-to-the-Pin winners and a Long Drive winner. The bulk of the purse will go towards the overall net low pot. For the overall, we will pay out 1st - 6th place. Some optional inner-group betting can be decided on amongst the daily groups (greenies, birdies, sandy pars, skins, snakes etc.).

Overall Payout
1st Place = $1200
2nd Place = $700
3rd Place = $500
4th Place = $300
5th Place = $200
6th Pace = $100

Thursday night before the event, we will hold a mandatory tournament gathering at Beer Hunter where we will meet everybody in the field and talk through all the rules.

* Hole-in-one policy - If a player gets an ace, everyone in the tourney owes that person $50. Yikes!!

Jim "Double Meat" Northover | 2021 Champion Golfer
John Cleveland | 2021 Mr. Poopy
ROUND

1

Desert WillowMountain View Course

$75 | 6:55am - 7:55am -- The Mountain View course at Desert Willow Golf Resort was designed to be a transition between the more challenging, tournament-qualitcourse and the traditional course of fence to fence turfgrass, flowers and flowing water.  Mountain View was intended to have each of these characteristics, but with its own distinct personality.

DESERT WILLOW WEBSITE »
ROUND

2

Classic ClubDay 2

$100 | 8:40am - 9:40am $15 Food and Beverage credit, $10 Merchandise credit. Designed by Arnold Palmer, the course features rolling terrain with elevations changes abound. Lush landscaping that includes Pine, Olive and Pepperwood trees line the fairways amongst the backdrop of the Santa Rosa Mountain. It is a true test for any skill level golfer and is voted year after year as one of the best golf courses in Palm Springs.

CLASSIC CLUB WEBSITE »
ROUND

3

Indian WellsCelebrity Course

$90 | 8:00am - 9:00am -- Golf architect Clive Clark's much anticipated Indian Wells Celebrity Course opened November 2006 to rave reviews. In addition to spectacular mountain views, the Par-72 Celebrity Course features undulating fairways, and flowing water in the form of streams, brooks, and split-level lakes connected by striking waterfalls, with vibrant floral detail. This California golf course is unrivaled in beauty and playability. From start to finish, the Celebrity Course offers an unmatched golf experience that will have players returning again and again.

INDIAN WELLS WEBSITE »
ROUND

4

Escena Golf ClubThe Final Showdown

$85 | 6:30am -7:30 -- Ranked as the #6 Public Course in California by PGATOUR.com, thisgolf course is noted for its unobstructed sightlines, generous driving corridors and the overall strength of its design. Strategically placed bunkers, water hazards and undulating greens are there before you, but at the same time there is ample room for you to decide how much you want to flirt with them.

ESCENA GOLF CLUB WEBSITE »

Meet the Field (2022)

Kelly 'KK' Kraushaar

One of our 2, 2-time champions in the field this year. This ultra-competitive single digit handicapper is hungry, but also coming off his worst season in history. With some most-recent swing adjustments, and zero equipment upgrades to figure out, he's in a prime place to bounce back with yet another big win in the dez. With the Jaws of Life you may be able to pry into that wallet of his.

Kenny "The Worm" Means

This St. Georgian transplant and proud holder of the "2018 and 2019 Poopy Trophy," has been on a solid bowflex regimen and hits multiple buckets a day. Worm has a lethal shortgame but has yet to see the podium. The "Worm" dwells at an 11HCP.

Bob "Shlaudy" Shlaudeman

Still beaming over a victory in the 2015 HB City Surf Contest, this feisty 62 year old is ready to drive for show and putt for dough. If the power fade is working off the tee, and he's not playing a glowball, and there are trees for his ball to bounce off of, watch out for this capped out 18-HCP threat!

Jon "Draw Draw" Suzuki

With a 3-wood like Henrik Stenson, Draw Draw effortlessly pures balls deep from right to left. Some much-needed time away from the game has seemed to serve Jonny right. He's been playing some really good golf the last few weeks and if he can dispose of those card-crushing chipping yips, Mr. Suzuki could have his name on the cup this year.

Michael "The Miracle" Malchak

The "Miracle" seems to make big putts when he needs to, and with the weather in his favor he should be able to leave his glove warmers at home. Currently looking to change his game around after a spiraling index coming in. If the driver cooperates, he could find his name on the trophy. Miracle isn't playing as much golf as of late, it's safe to say we'll hear about how rusty his game is.

Justin "Red Numbers" Reding

This 2-time Champion wiped his ass with the field 2 years ago. YUUUGE target on his back - as always!! Rumor has it, homeslice used his 2018 winnings on a golf simulator in his garage. And then fully upgraded it with his 2020 winnings. Unfortunately for Mr Red Numbers, the sim doesn't help his putting. Make sure to have him put out those 3fters.

Chris "Albatross" Albanese

At age 12, Chris escaped a life of running cigarettes and illegal fireworks by becoming a star in Green Bay’s underground mini golf sewer scene. The only “golfer” to win four national championships and an adult film award, which is not to say this rough-hewn heartthrob doesn't have a softer side.  If you ain’t first…. your last!!

Eric "Grampa" Alden

Grampa used to be very powerful, but now, not so much.  He will lobby to play the forward tees, and spend most of his time looking for his ball while scrounging for other lost pearls. His trip to the podium will be greatly dependent on the rest of the field crumbling. The pinnacle of G-pa's career was winning the first ever Desert Golf Challenge. Now he just looks for Pinnacle's in the bushes.

Jim "Double-Meat" Northover

Last year's champ!!This full-time redneck enjoys reliving his glory days on the baseball diamond when he is cranking bombs with his driver! This 2X Worm Burner Champ would be a serious front runner if it wasn’t for the fact that his putter refuses to send his balls into the hole. Recent struggles with his driver has him nervous to defend. No doubt he asked for double meat with his winnings for from last year.

Mark "Coach" Boselo

He may get up at 5:30am for no reason like all the other old guys in the field, but Mark is different! Mark is an Official PGA Instructor and the current coach of a few players in our group. He cuts his own grass, and recently regripped his ball retriever in preps for the desert. He's excited his ball will go a yard or 2 further in the desert.

John Cleveland

It's been a long year for this 63 year old desert dude who has had to to stare at the 2021 Poopy Trophy all year long. John slithers his way in from Arizona and he claims he's in a better headspace this year. Recently retired, word on the street is he's clocking in to some high money games multiple times a week. He's also currently looking into some equipment upgrades. New clubs? New Problems!

Rocky "Ace" Bandzeladze

This Georgian transplant is fighting from the red tees. With an Ace already in the bank, we can all just hope that this savage just peaked a little early. Only been playing 4 years and on occasion can blast 300yd bombs. TKO!

Brian "Leg Day" Campbell

Known for his 3-putt pars, this super competitive and deep-ball driver gets a little shaky with his flat stick. Brian may be quiet, but he also has a super keen radar for the cart girl and can become easily distracted. If you get in his head you have a chance to beat this 10 handicapped fabio.

Dan "Balls Deep" Lubach

His golf ball is deep but his putting sucks. He can get home in 2 and 4 putt bogey with the best of them. Hasn’t shot in the 70s since he lost the ability to grow hair on his head. He’ll look like a scratch golfer on one hole, then lose 3 balls on the next -- Fore!!!

Mark Simonsen

This rookie is a product of the mean streets of Fountain Valley, California. Known as quite the lady killer in the 80’s club scene behind the Orange Curtain, back when Meadowlark Golf Club was a hot spot for underaged partiers. Mark  currently resides in Bonsall, California and is shredding O-Side Harbor on the regular and posting in the low 80’s at courses all over San Diego county.

Todd Simonsen

Todd is a San Diego native and resides in Leucadia. He started playing golf as a little tyke but has been dedicated to the game of golf for 2 years.. Carrying a 19 handicap… just back from Nicaragua and getting plenty of shade.

Nick "The Richard" Cardillo

He probably doesn't play as much as the rest of the field does anymore, but don't let that fool you. Nick has clocked-in to numerous golf courses as an occupation and spent many hours working on his "feels." He loves a cold beer or a cocktail while chasing his ball into the bushes. Nick's getting married in October... does he have one last horrah, in him?

Doug Danner

Life-long golfer still waiting for his first hole-in-one. Doug makes sure he gets his weekend away from the family every Saturday morning at the crack of dawn with his buddies. He’s become a coach for his own kids growing up and they ended up being better than him in high school. The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.

Blake Danner

Golfer by day, piano teacher by night. Unlike his father Doug, Blake has quite the track record on the course (not including mini golf stats). Team captain in high school, Blake knows how to take golf to the next level. Whoever said ‘practice makes perfect’ has obviously never played golf.

Rick Rice

Coming soon...

Bobby “Baby Cakes” Reynolds

Nobody puts this Baby in a corner!!  Baby Cakes sweeping left to right drives will leave him driving down the right side of fairways where he has been told on many occasions to “get off my lawn,” or “get out of my pool.”
Baby Cakes (AKA Suzy Cheerleader) won’t need you to tell him “good shot” because he's already told himself!! Baby Cakes may be new to this tourney and the only player with 2 nicknames but he’s becoming a permanent fixture out in the desert. Semi retired his 11 handicap may be the only straight thing about his game.

Jake "Blade" Dunham

Nicknamed “Blade” surprisingly not for blading his irons, but his putts. Jake’s recently done some minor tinkering to his swing by switching from right handed to left handed. Bold move, let’s see if it pays off. He was hired by Callaway Golf 3 months ago and has already been put on administrative leave twice for “borrowing” product to practice for his first Desert Challenge. Look for Blade to make a Sunday move up the leaderboard before he heads back to his Santa Barbara vacation beach house that he never invites to his friends to anymore.

Kyle "Twinkle Toes" McClure

Often found in the parking lot discussing turf conditions, wind direction, and the importance of second shot angles, Kyle still struggles to execute a simple weight shift in his golf swing. Although he can go low from time to time his famous two way miss, responsible for countless broken shingles and dented patio furniture, can add up quickly on the scorecard - going to have to wait to see if the two headed dragon rears his ugly head in the desert.

Landis "Silky Smooth"Tolstin

Ladies think his nickname - “Silky Smooth," refers to his Hollywood-esk good looks and his eloquent persona, but his peer golfers know it better. His silky smooth touch around the greens left many golfers a few bucks lighter on his back nine escapades. Occasionally his slow play can take his fellow golfers off their game, but make no mistake, every move he makes is a well calculated hustle to free you up some of your hard earned cash. If his putter can cooperate in the desert heat, Silky Smooth has a fighting chance to take the top spot at the tournament.

Randy Kubo

Coming soon...

Leaderboard (2022)

> > > > > > > >
Player Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 4 Total Score
Kyle McClure (hcp 14) 🏆 +8 -12 -9 -2
Justin Reding (hcp 9) +1 -4 -3 +5
Todd Simonsen (hcp 18) +4 +4 -4 -3
Mark Simonsen (hcp 9) -1 +10 +2 -3
Blake Danner (hcp 11) +6 +1 E +5
Jon Suzuki (hcp 13) +3 -2 +7 +4
Mark Boselo (hcp 6) +2 +6 +1 +4
Michael Malchak (hcp 8) +2 E +3 +11
Rocky Bandzeladze (hcp 11) +8 +5 +7 -1
Kelly Kraushaar (hcp 8) +13 +4 E +4
Rick Rice (hcp 8) +11 +6 +5 +5
Jim Northover (hcp 6) +11 +4 +4 +10
Dan Lubach (hcp 13) +13 +15 +2 +1
Bob Reynolds (hcp 11) +4 +7 +6 +15
Chris Albanese (hcp 17) +5 +9 +6 +12
Bob Shlaudeman (hcp 18) +6 +19 -1 +11
John Cleveland (hcp 12) +8 +19 +5 +5
Brian Campbell (hcp 8) +10 +8 +9 +11
Nick Cardillo (hcp 12) +5 +7 +19 +9
Doug Danner (hcp 11) +10 +21 +6 +7
Landis Tolson (hcp 11) +10 +13 +11 +11
Randy Kubo (hcp 9) +10 +13 +14 +9
Kenny Means (hcp 12) +16 +17 +6 +10
Eric Alden (hcp 18) 💩 +2 +23 +28 +7
Jake Dunham (hcp 15) +18 +20 +13 WD